A love story and life lesson in one!
After 15 years of being married to one man (since the age of 18), the very thought of being single wasn’t even fathomable.
Although, this was it. Could not be topped after he cheated while deployed and even refused to quit seeing her. I guess a part of me could’ve fought harder if only he was sorry and said he wanted us. He wanted to wait till he got back to make a decision. I had plenty of time to think of all the ways that could destroy me. Save our base housing for him and her and throw me out? After moving states away for this man! Then I’d basically be forced to get out and leave my kids!? Oh No!!
I started visiting my best friend at the time who was a bartender. I felt skittish and shy just being in a bar without my husband. I knew it was over and I needed her help. I would sit at the bar and just bawl my eyes out.
But how? What? Where? I don’t know how to be single or survive. Honestly I didn’t even want to be in the civilian world. I was a very proud Army wife!
My friend was the all business type. A real problem solver. No time to sit around and whine. She took me shopping first and gave me tips to dress ‘not married’. This pushed my comfort zone a bit but honestly I needed the help. The biggest thing she did for me was help me get off base housing without him knowing. She helped me find an Apartment and even paid for a storage building for his stuff. Against her furious thoughts of burning his things, I wanted them packed and saved. Even packing a box of his ‘typical everyday’ clothes and putting up front. Yes, I was hurt but I also had to set an example for my girls.
We managed to get off post and get moved and start moving on. She even gave me a job where she was working.
One night that I wasn’t working but crying at the bar something unusual happened. This cute blonde haired, blue eyed, country boy Soldier came up to me. ME!
“That condensation on your bottle means your drinking to slow or I’m drinking to fast”, he said. I was still in shock he was talking to me! I was used to avoiding a mans eyes. I kinda laughed while he continued to play pool. Although, his next drink was sat next to mine as well as the pool cue when he wasn’t using it. I had no clue what to say or do and I was a mess.
After the cute little flirting, he asks what’s wrong. I couldn’t just open up so easily. Then he asked me to dance. That was probably one of the best dances of my life. I don’t know how he did it but he did get me to open up. My deployed husband and the cheating… I cried on this young Soldiers shoulder. He surprised me with his response. Blatant honesty about guys and Soldiers in particular. Told me how hey acted over there and some basic Soldiers ‘rules’ for living. I wanted to be mad but I looked in his soft blue eyes and knew he was being more honest with me than anyone I’d ever met. I enjoyed it more than I ever thought possible.
Over the next few weeks and months, I learned he was always 100%. Honest, without regard of feelings for the truth. This became something I admired with all my heart. I have tried to adapt it into my own life.
Pure honesty. It can hurt like the dickens but it can also make you feel curled up in a Soldiers hug on the dance floor.